Healer in spirit
Jun. 19th, 2014 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zeeth_kyrahSo I was reading a discussion of cutting from last year (the actual post above this is part of an incredible series of fan-fiction stories wherein a lot of wounded superheroes -- the Avengers -- gain gentle experience in caring for themselves, each other, and their suffering), and Athena spoke up, asking me how I would handle someone who cuts themselves. I opened Notepad and wrote this, channeled from my Higher Self:
When someone who cuts themselves is presented to me (why would they come if they did not know?), I know it as an inversion of externalized aggression. They can't handle the emotional backlash of their experiences, and the pressure becomes so great that they must release it -- often in attacks. But with no external object to attack, they turn internally, and find the self. This is why women cut more: outward aggression is frowned upon, but who among objectifiers objects to self-hate in their sex objects?
So I give the cutter something outward to manifest. In the case of those who make things, I give them tools to destroy, and then something other than themselves to destroy. A hammer (sledge or masonry) and a stone. A cutting torch and metal. A saw (but not a knife!) and wood. The objects are not representational. They are not a person, or a home, or a concept; they are instead something safe upon which aggression can be practiced.
Then I advance that. Once the initial burst of energy is worked out, I give them a better way. I give them tools for outlet. Discernment tells me what material (and what tool! sometimes the tool first) is best for the initial release. The substance then defines the improved tool.
Give them a hammer and stone? Add a chisel, and they become a sculptor.
Give them a cutting torch and steel? Add a welder or a plenishing hammer, and they too become a sculptor -- or a builder.
Give them a saw and wood? Now add a few other tools (chisels, axes, what-have-you). Maybe change the saw to a bandsaw. Or maybe, just maybe, give them a different kind of knife, and teach them how to use it.
Give them a word of power and a block of luminite (a material that receives and holds energy, and releases it as light)? Now add words of control, words of making and shaping, words of being and doing. Give them the ability to manifest the Truth.
Give them color, and they become a painter, whether in inks/pigments or lights.
Gave them a piano wire or guitar string? Now give them a full instrument. Or just teach them to sing. Or make a cake, better than the block of carbohydrate foam they just cut to shreds.
Representational things are for focused stress: This was a bad thing, this is a bad person. Non-representational are for unfocused, and for redirecting stress: This is neutral, but it's safe to focus on when you need it. This is why punching a pillow and talking to an empty chair are effective: the stressor is not there, but a non-representational representation of it/them is.
The more tools can be used on something, particularly tools of violence (or their representations), the more that one needs to give purpose and focus to the sufferer, so that the use of these tools upon their subject does not turn into mere violence. But violent making is still making, and still useful and good in this context. Even a breakdown can be a catalyst for transformation here.
Don't push hard. Give instead an outlet, and then push gently from a safe direction -- or better, from a direction that moves them away from destruction and into something stronger and more lasting. But be careful. You are NOT a torturer, and should never attempt to become one in this work. Losing yourself to that will create exactly the sort of harm you are attempting to cure.
When someone who cuts themselves is presented to me (why would they come if they did not know?), I know it as an inversion of externalized aggression. They can't handle the emotional backlash of their experiences, and the pressure becomes so great that they must release it -- often in attacks. But with no external object to attack, they turn internally, and find the self. This is why women cut more: outward aggression is frowned upon, but who among objectifiers objects to self-hate in their sex objects?
So I give the cutter something outward to manifest. In the case of those who make things, I give them tools to destroy, and then something other than themselves to destroy. A hammer (sledge or masonry) and a stone. A cutting torch and metal. A saw (but not a knife!) and wood. The objects are not representational. They are not a person, or a home, or a concept; they are instead something safe upon which aggression can be practiced.
Then I advance that. Once the initial burst of energy is worked out, I give them a better way. I give them tools for outlet. Discernment tells me what material (and what tool! sometimes the tool first) is best for the initial release. The substance then defines the improved tool.
Give them a hammer and stone? Add a chisel, and they become a sculptor.
Give them a cutting torch and steel? Add a welder or a plenishing hammer, and they too become a sculptor -- or a builder.
Give them a saw and wood? Now add a few other tools (chisels, axes, what-have-you). Maybe change the saw to a bandsaw. Or maybe, just maybe, give them a different kind of knife, and teach them how to use it.
Give them a word of power and a block of luminite (a material that receives and holds energy, and releases it as light)? Now add words of control, words of making and shaping, words of being and doing. Give them the ability to manifest the Truth.
Give them color, and they become a painter, whether in inks/pigments or lights.
Gave them a piano wire or guitar string? Now give them a full instrument. Or just teach them to sing. Or make a cake, better than the block of carbohydrate foam they just cut to shreds.
Representational things are for focused stress: This was a bad thing, this is a bad person. Non-representational are for unfocused, and for redirecting stress: This is neutral, but it's safe to focus on when you need it. This is why punching a pillow and talking to an empty chair are effective: the stressor is not there, but a non-representational representation of it/them is.
The more tools can be used on something, particularly tools of violence (or their representations), the more that one needs to give purpose and focus to the sufferer, so that the use of these tools upon their subject does not turn into mere violence. But violent making is still making, and still useful and good in this context. Even a breakdown can be a catalyst for transformation here.
Don't push hard. Give instead an outlet, and then push gently from a safe direction -- or better, from a direction that moves them away from destruction and into something stronger and more lasting. But be careful. You are NOT a torturer, and should never attempt to become one in this work. Losing yourself to that will create exactly the sort of harm you are attempting to cure.
Wow!
Date: 2014-06-20 06:47 am (UTC)Re: Wow!
Date: 2014-06-20 10:14 pm (UTC)And hey, if someone likes a tool enough, helping them learn the expanded or improved version of it might just be what they need to grow into a whole new branch of learning and self-improvement.