I'm sure it's a common complaint

[zeeth_kyrah]

So.

My brother in law recently offered to DM a Pathfinder 2nd Edition campaign for the whole family, but then said "By the way, your character has to be the same sex as you." As a trans person whose identity he doesn't respect, I can't play in his game without getting disrespected. So he basically ruled me out of that game. Because if I went with an elf or gnome, and said "faery people get to be weird" and then said my character's gender was anything but what he perceived me as, he'd probably get upset about it anyway.

This, despite the fact he loves Changeling (the game/setting originally published by White Wolf), which is all about people the faeries found interesting and/or useful; and the fae themselves as well as those who attract them, in-game and in actual folk lore, by default ought (in my opinion) to be LGBT+ friendly at the very least!

Honestly! A non-binary asexual gnomish sorcerer with brightly colored hair and pastel skin, and a minor obsession with random wildlife and minor potions *ought* to be completely fine...

Especially since Paizo, the publisher of Pathfinder, is run by LGBT+ folks and allies, and has a reputation for seeking diverse writers for their products. Plus D&D itself has been getting more diverse (at least in the written material) despite the fandom around it. Something about there being more profit (both financially and socially) in including people who live better through roleplay, storytelling, and expanded mental horizons.

Comments

[ellenmillion]

Ugh. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

[zeeth_kyrah]

Thank you. It saddens me, as I'd like to be a good example for my young nephews, who are neurodiverse like the rest of my family, and may need to deal with diverse body image and relationship experiences as a result (statically more common in autistic and ADHD populations, possibly as a result of greater need to assert boundaries and independent self-identity for survival).

But conservative evangelical you-know-what gets in the way, and probably will more so as my body continues changing. (I started hormones in June, and I mean to keep on them since my self-harm thoughts have almost completely stopped as a result.)

[siliconshaman]

Yeah, your BIL is an ass and bad DM about that. Sorta: "I have my pidgin holes and you *will* fit in them!"

[zeeth_kyrah]

Exactly! 🕊️🕳️🪣
Bah to the pigeon hole, I say - he needs a better guide. 🧿🧭🗝️⚧️☯️🏳️‍⚧️

[we_are_spc]

.... Yeah, ok, that's kinda petty.

While the DM's of our games might prefer to play characters that are their same gender, they don't force their players tto. I once played a female half-elf bard, and a male human/lycan (bobcat) assassin/bard/sonomancer. Throught our campaigns I've known the players to play interesting characters that weren't necessarily their own gender, and have had a lot of fun doing so.

Wow, that's, whether or not it was intentional, a dick move. Especially these days.

-T~

[zeeth_kyrah]

Sounds to me like you've had some good groups to play with, and I'm glad for you. 🙂

[we_are_spc]

2. And one of them had a couple Neurodivers MB players to begin with, so if they did what your brother did, they'd be hypocrits.

One group I've been with for about 18 years now-and it's our third campaign. We've had a couple different DM's but the rules about character/gender matches really don't change much.

-T~

[arethinn]

WTF? Like cis people don't roleplay characters of other genders all the time?

[we_are_spc]

Right? That's another way of further escaping who you *actually* are and getting into someonelse's head/mindframe.

-T~

[zeeth_kyrah]

Some do, at least. I think it's more common in cosplay and text RP where you don't see the player's actual face/body, though.

[rowyn]

I know right? I have literally never been in a game where the GM dictated the genders of the characters. What a jerk. 9.9